Ramadan Nights : Forgive and Forget!

Forgiveness is perhaps one of the most difficult actions that an individual has to take sometimes. Especially if you were the one who was wronged and hence feel like you  have every right to blame the other person. Sometimes, that person may have hurt you so much that you can't think of anything but getting revenge on them and making them feel exactly (or even worse) than they made you feel. That's normal. However, while revenge seems like a good idea - it rarely is. This is because it leads to a never ending  negative cycle of two people continuously trying to hurt each other, with neither being fully happy until the other person is completely destroyed. This is almost impossible, as hate only breeds more hate and negativity and hence an individual cannot achieve full happiness through hatred or revenge.



 Hence, the only way to leave the cycle of negativity and hurt that has been placed on you, is firstly to cut ties with the source of that hurt and secondly forgiveness. You have to learn to forgive and let go of that person's actions towards you. Not for their sake, but for yours. Holding on to grudges only tires you and makes you bitter, it effectively SLOWS YOU DOWN and does nothing to the other person but gives them the satisfaction of seeing you hurt and bitter because of them.

It's hard to be hurt and feel like you can't do anything about (and if you can do anything about it by all means go ahead and get your rights) but if the source of that hurt is through little miscellaneous things that obviously hurts but really hasn't offended any of your basic rights especially if it has happened in the past then you need to let it go. You need to be able to sit down and realise that you have to forgive the other person. Truly forgive them for their actions. When someone tries to hurt another person, its usually because they themselves are unhappy about their own condition and hence they want to try to get rid of their inward unhappiness by projecting it on to the other person, in attempt to make them feel as horrible and as sad as they feel.

Islam preaches forgiveness and peace among people. You may think 'why should I forgive so and so - so that God won't hold them to account for their actions towards me, when I have every right to be hurt and insulted'. In retrospect that is true, you don't have to necessarily forgive someone for hurting you and Islam doesn't force you to forgive someone if you don't want to you can just say 'Hasbee Allah wa Ni3m el Wakeel' and let Allah handle it. However in the Quran, Allah directly answers the question by stating:

 "The Reward of the evil is the evil therof, but whosoever forgives and makes amends his reward is upon God' (Al Shura 42:40)

Seriously just imagine, God himself rewards you for forgiving someone, He is in charge of making sure you are personally rewarded for forgiving someone. Certainly, a reward from Allah is the best present in the entire universe! It's almost like everytime you are hurt, or someone tries to belittle you and make you bitter they are actively giving you a present from Allah himself when you decide to forgive them. Also, I know I shouldn't really be saying this on an islamic post , but can you also imagine the look of their face when they see you or hear about you being happy and living prosperously despite everything they've done to make you feel otherwise?

No, not just pretend happy or acting but really happy that feeling of complete content and peace with yourself. That can only be achieved when you create inner peace within your heart by forgiving everyone and letting go of your past hurt, so that Allah may also forgive you and grant your wishes. Just try it, the feeling you get afterwards is amazing!

Fully forgiving someone is a journey so here is a video which particularly stood for me and made me fully forgive everyone in my life. I hope it will inspire you to do the same: 

 

See you soon!